


fireflies // nct dream

by cloudsclouds_9



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Dreams, Escapism, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Imaginary Friends, Mental Health Issues, Nct dream ensemble - Freeform, Neglect, This will hurt, renjun centric, renjun needs a hug, the dreamies provide that hug, there are a LOT of triggers in this be careful :(, uh idk what to tag
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-27 18:48:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,660
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30127239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloudsclouds_9/pseuds/cloudsclouds_9
Summary: renjun has a difficult life, the only time he can escape is when he falls asleep and meets his imaginary friends in his dreams. yes its childish but how much can go wrong? ( a lot :) ) *PLEASE READ TWS AND STAY SAFE*
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Everyone
Kudos: 1





	1. you might not believe

**Author's Note:**

> this fic is inspired a little bit by the song fireflies (the owl city one, not the nct dream one, funnily). its not ship related at all, i had a spark of inspiration for it and had to write it, it follows the pov of a 16 year old renjun, there may be triggering themes like neglect, anxiety, thoughts about death and i generally don't recommend reading if you are sensitive to these, please stay safe and i hope you all enjoy! <33

another day. day by day, it only ever feels like everything just gets worse. same routine, same people, same sorrows, same me. i hate days, yet here i am, starting another one, lousily packing my back, probably forgetting half of the stuff that i need. i notice one particular book i own and trace my finger around it. my sacred dream journal. that's where i log my dreams, i also like to write letters in there sometimes, it means a lot to me, a form of escapism i suppose. everyone needs a bit of escapism, or else everything would be nothing but pain and suffering.packing in the dream journal, i swing my bag over my shoulder and head out into the dark wispy coolness of a wednesday morning. walking to school feels like marching up to my death.

hi im renjun, im 16 and it always feels like im dying.

inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale.

i walk into the classroom, desperately attempting to keep my presence unknown, which luckily for me, works. i sit at a shadowed corner, my noisy classmates too busy messing around to notice me

and so

i take out my journal.

i mentioned that i like to write letters. i like to write these letters whenever im feeling an overwhelming emotion. right now im feeling worried. i write these letters to my friends. well its embarrassing, but they're imaginary. they're my friends though and they mean the world to me, simply writing to them already makes me feel better and oh my gosh i sound crazy, but its almost like they reply. their responses would draw together flawlessly in my mind.

"hi donghyuck,  
i'm writing to you because i feel a bit nervous. i'm in class right now and everyone is so noisy and i feel overwhelmed, what happens if someone tries to speak to me? i'll mess up my words and make a fool of myself. what do you do in situations like this? although i'm sure that you're so outgoing that you don't even have time to be nervous.  
with love,  
renjun"

"renjun i'm so happy to hear from you! i'm sorry that you feel that way, bud. and you're right, i am quite outgoing and i don't get nervous anymore. i don't care what other people think of me at all, that's always the first step to avoiding nervousness, you don't need to talk to them but, feel comfortable taking up space, let yourself live without the criticism of your own mind! thank you for coming to me, see you tonight? "

calming down at the presence of my dear friend, i sink into my seat a little. i write a little 'you bet' into my journal before closing it. imaginary or not, these are the best friends i could ever ask for.

the day drags by and when i get back to the house i already feel drained. i did my homework at school and by the time i got here, it's already 7. i haven't seen my parents in forever, i'm getting worried and its really lonely now. not like they'd notice me if they were here anyways. i grab some crackers from the kitchen as a small evening snack and get ready for the only thing that makes living worth it.

i snuggle up to my soft duvet and drift off asleep.


	2. your eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY BIRTHDAY RENJUN!!! GO SHAWTY ITS YOUR BDAY WE@RE GONNA PARTY LIKE ITS YOUR BDAY /lyr HAHA I hope that he has the best day! <3 I hope that you all have a good day too!

"Renjun~"

"Renjun!"

I sleepily rub my eyelids before two mischeif makers come into focus, it's none other than my favourite young rascals!

"Chenle, Jisung!" I exclaim before tightly engulfing the two with a tight hug. "How was your day?"

"It's been great so far, you're not going to BELIEVE this!" Chenle excitedly chatters back to me.

"Hm?" Is the only word that can escape from my mouth before the two grabbed my hands and dragged me along the little stoned lane in front of us.

Our dream world is beautiful.

The sky is a pinkish hue that tints everything that the light hits with a rosy blush, the clouds are big, fluffy and look just so similar to candyfloss, the grass is luscious and healthy, decorated with flowers and trees of every type, and, not to mention, the air is fresh and always has a sweet aroma that makes me feel like I am truly at home for once.

I wish that I could live here forever.

Walking down towards the end of the narrow lane, I see the other 4 boys hanging around a tall and majestic looking tree. The birds are twittering and the soft wind is flopping everyone's hair around a little. Donghyuck is perched delicately on a strong, low hanging branch, Mark is leaning against the tree and Jaemin is sat sleepily against the trunk of the same tree. 

My attention is drawn to what it is that they are all looking at so fondly. Jeno is sat cross-legged with a fluffy small kitten tucked snug in his arms. His nose is very red from allergies but he doesn't seem to mind too much, he lifts the kitten up and snuggles the small cat against his face, not usual behaviour of one who is literally allergic to cats but anyone who knows him also knows his strong love for felines.

Mark laughs at the younger with his newfound pal "We should call him Lil Jen-Jen"

Donghyuck snorts before teasing "Him or the cat?"

Jeno turns around and tries to glare at the two but all of his big plans to seem intimidating are crumbled by a soft sneeze.

"Aww, come here Lil Jen-Jen," Jaemin says with a pout. Jeno grins triumphantly and trots over to lean on his friend's shoulder.

Jaemin gently takes the kitten from Jeno before giving the cat a small kiss on its forehead. "Poor Lil Jen-Jen, that scary boy must have frightened you!"

"Yeah he d-" Jeno begins before Jaemin's shoulder is swiftly replaced with the grassy ground as Jaemin jumps up suddenly and spins around with the kitten saying "My poor baby! I know, I know, Jeno is scary, don't worry too much, Lil Jen-Jen, he's still in his emo phase,"

Jeno acts out a dramatic betrayed look "Jaemin, I hope you know that if you didn't have a cute cat in your arms right now that I would be beating the shit out of you."

"Love you too, bestie!!" Jaemin says, blowing him a sloppy kiss, earning an eruption of laughter from everyone.

"Oh, oh my gosh, Renjun~!" Jaemin skips over towards me softly, minding Lil Jen-Jen "Hold my cat, I have a fight to win!"

I chuckle before taking the tiny cat and ruffling its fluffy head.

Not long afterwards, Jaemin lets out an exaggerated screech before flailing down the hill, Jeno running playfully after him.

"Lil Jen-Jen is the name then!" Mark says proudly.

"Where did you guys even find him?" I ask, happily stroking Lil Jen-Jen's fur, who is contently purring in response.

"I just found him while I was walking, so, I took him back here," Jisung says thoughtfully.

"WHAT?! Oh my GOD, Jisung, you don't just pick up cats! I'm seriously the backbone of this family," I rant.

Chenle responds to me with a grin "Finders keepers!"

"Anyways, Renjun, how was your day? I got your message earlier on," Donghyuck enquires as I tread lightly over the grass to sit by the tree with everyone else.

I press my lips together softly, my day was not good, it was the same as any other school day, in other words, my day was fucking terrible.

I decide that if I stay quiet for any much longer, some questions may arise.

"Oh you know, school and stuff..."

"Not good?" Donghyuck adds.

"No" I smile sadly "Not good, school has seriously been kicking my ass because of my lack of social skills and only to add to that, I...I can't remember the last time that I saw my parents, they threathened to leave before but I didn't think that they'd actually-" I sigh.

I feel Mark pat his hand reassuringly on my shoulder "I'm so sorry, Renjun," I sink into his gentle touch as he rubs my shoulder and I trace circles in Jen-Jen's fur "you don't deserve that at all."

The others all agree with this "We're all here for you, we're your family now!" Chenle adds.

"Yup! Mark, Jeno and Jaemin are our parent figures!" Jisung chimes in.

I make a fakely offended face "What about me?!"

Donghyuck sucks air in through his teeth and grimaces "Ooo~ Renjun~~ Not mature enough!"

"FIRST OFF! I'm older than both Jaemin and Jeno, and second!" I gesture my hands over in the direction of the two who were once play fighting and are now skipping around in the field that is filled with bright flowers.

Mark smiles "They're like lambs!!"

I roll my eyes "More like lunatics," I tease. "Anyways, more of a point, the other parent is supporting it!"

"And I have a counter attack!" Chenle says "Wait for it..."

We all watch Jaemin and Jeno who are in their own world intently, waiting, until Jaemin looks up and smiles before waving;

"Children! Come play!"

"COMING MOTHERRR~" Donghyuck yells while running full-speed down the hill making Jaemin laugh.

"And, and, and" Chenle cups his mouth before shouting "JENO!"

The boy looks up surprisedly "Huh?" he looks around for the noise before locking eyes with Chenle "AH, MY SON! WHAT IS IT?" he shouts back with a mischevious grin.

"ONE SECOND!" Chenle shouts back again, before turning around to face me, sided by Jisung.

"Boom," Jisung says before turning around and running down the hill and shrieking with Chenle.

I twitch my head in amazement. "And Mark...I'm afraid to ask but what do you have in common with a parent?"

"Honestly, dude...I don't know, but, if you're good you can get an icecream when we're all back at the dreamcave," he says with a smirk.

**Author's Note:**

> short first chapter, i know, it will get longer and more interesting, i promise! i'm just setting the scene because i plan for this au to be a wild one, so prepare haha, let me know what you think! I'll try update as frequently as possible <3


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